Per today’s New York Times, Filthy Rich dynamo Ron Perelman’s decision to cash in his (re)naming rights to the University of Pennsylvania’s Logan Hall isn’t going over so well. The reason? In an uncharacteristically touching move, Mr. P. opted to give his recently departed second wife, Claudia Cohen, the honors. In a former life, of course, Cohen was the first poison pen to ever write Page Six. Naming a building after a gossip columnist? How horribly tacky and out-of character for an august institution like UPenn! (Cohen’s fellow esteemed alumni, Michael Milken, Donald Trump, and Maury Povich, were unavailable for comment.)

Naturally, philanthropy and the sacred role of naming rights are explored ad nauseum in the “Playgrounds & Pastimes” chapter of the Official Filthy Rich Handbook. An exclusive excerpt after the jump …

YOUR NAME HERE …

The privilege of attaching one’s surname to something in perpetuity is the A-bomb in a fundraiser’s arsenal. Typically reserved for those who pledge 50 percent or more of a project’s budget, they are not doled out lightly.

As a rule, the donation must be in excess of a million dollars, the donor must have a lengthy history with the institution, and his or her name must be (mostly) free of negative connotations. Increasingly, however, the only rule is the golden one*, and the likelihood of getting your name cast in bronze will be in direct proportion to how badly your cash is needed. In some cases, just giving the biggest single dollar amount, known as the “lead gift,” is enough.

Academic and religious institutions are by far the most accommodating, and also the most desirable. No matter your countless misdeeds, how better to prove your unimpeachable character than by underwriting your local JCC? (Just ask 80’s villain Mike Milken!)

Still, naming rights are far from a science, as the following cases illustrate:

S.I. NEWHOUSE SCHOOL OF PUBLIC COMMUNICATIONS

LOCATION: Syracuse University, Syracuse, New York
DONOR: Condé Nast press baron S.I. Newhouse Sr.
Before he gobbled up Vogue, Vanity Fair, and just about every other glossy rag on the newsstands, the late S.I. Newhouse cared about journalism. Or wanted his friends to think he did. COST: $15 million

THE KOHL CENTER

LOCATION: The University of Wisconsin-Madison
DONOR: Supermarket mogul and U.S. senator Herb Kohl.
After years of overcharging them for groceries, Wisconsin’s number-one alum gave Badger fans a state-of-the-art venue in which to drunkenly harass opposing Big Ten teams. COST: $25 million

THE MASTER

LOCATION: The jungles of Columbia, South America
DONOR: Amateur ornithologist Bernard Master.
The scientist who discovered the unnamed species donated his naming rights to British charity Birdlife International, which auctioned them off to raise funds for a 3,000-acre nature preserve. COST: $105,000

TISCH CHILDREN’S ZOO

LOCATION: Central Park Zoo, New York, New York
DONOR: Laurence “Larry” Tisch, former CEO of CBS television and co-owner of Lorillard Tobacco.
A fellow board member who had pledged $3 million to the zoo backed out over Tisch’s ties to the evil weed, forcing the late billionaire to cover the entire project himself. COST: $4.5 million

FRANK H. ROGERS
ATOMIC TESTING MUSEUM

LOCATION: Las Vegas, Nevada
DONOR: Jim Rogers, owner of Sunbelt Communications
Rogers, who operates NBC and Fox affiliates in nine western states, named the museum for his father, who helped develop the site. Wherever dad is, he must be glowing. COST: $2 million

* He who has the gold, rules.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.