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BILKING ABRAMOVICH For $2 million an hour, Amy Winehouse will perform drunk at your girlfriend’s gallery opening.

BITCHES & MONEY A callous judge rules departed Filthy Rich phenom Leona Helmsley’s beloved Maltese ankle-biter, Trouble, will have to make due on $2 Million bones.

FOR THE TASTE OF IT Belgian recluse Martin Margiela unveils a line of stealth-wealth jewelry fashioned from recycled soft drink tabs. (Tres derelique, at $695 a pop.)

IN BLOOM Up in Bedford, Miss Martha throws her Second Annual Peony Party. (”Pierre, as usual, did a fine job with the hors d’ouvres.”) Chevy Chase was there for some reason.