Q: Why did you write this book?

A: To help those more fortunate than myself. Unless you’ve been in a coma, you’ve probably heard there’s been an unprecedented wealth explosion in recent years—Wall Street money, tech money, retail money, you name it. In 2007, the poorest person on the Forbes 400 had $1.3 billion—$300 million more than the year before. And that’s just the top tier! There are also thousands of other eight-figure shlubbs you’ve never heard of scurrying around building their own, often very tacky, dynasties. Like it or not, when you have that kind of money you become part of an international elite, with its own unique culture and customs, none of which are written down. Every exclusive club has a handbook except for this one. So I decided to write it.

Q: What makes someone Filthy Rich as opposed to, say, just regular rich?

A: The finance world sets the bar at $30 million in liquid assets, but really it’s a state of mind. Being Filthy Rich is about how and where you spend your money and your time—how tastefully, carelessly, and wantonly, to be exact.

Q: According to the New York Times, we’re about to enter into a recession. Does that make for bad timing?

A: Thankfully, the Filthy Rich prefer the Wall Street Journal. But even if they did know about this so-called “recession,” it’s certainly not spoiling their dinner parties. Sure, their ranks on the lower end might be thinned a bit, but good riddance, I imagine them saying. (The Filthy Rich can smell a poser at 100 paces.) The important thing to remember is that, unlike the tech boom, the megafortunes made in the most recent boom were largely in cash, not on paper. I imagine they’ll be just fine.

Q: How did you research this book?

A: It was exhausting—Palm Beach one weekend, Gstaad the next. Not something I would recommend. I also spoke to a mind-numbing amount of very privileged people, read far too many out-of-print books, watched, and listened.

Q: What most surprises you about the insanely wealthy?

A: Their ability to constantly innovate and find new ways to blow their hard-earned billions. For instance, every seven-figure Wall Street trader has a swimming pool and basketball court. But only Larry Page has both on his 452-foor yacht, Rising Sun. Home schooling has become a bit of a micro-trend in middle America in recent years. But only the Getty family has an actual fully staffed Montessori school for their grandkids and their friends. See? Innovation.

Q: How much of your book is fact and how much of it is fiction/satire?

A: From the beginning, I wanted it to be two things: 100 percent accurate, and 100 percent funny. In the end, I settled on 99/70 (I’m being charitable.) Horrifying as it may sound, it’s all true. My lawyer even said so!

Q: What are some Filthy Rich “must-haves”? Does it really matter what kind of car you drive or which decorator you hire?

A: Of course it matters. Though, typically there are a few options. You can send your kids to St. Paul’s or Groton, winter in Mustique or Carreyes, play polo or taking up shooting, to name just a few. In most cases, there is a “right” choice, for whatever reason, and I tried to indicate as such wherever possible. By the time you finish reading the book, of course, it might have changed.

Q: Is there a “keeping up with the Gateses” mentality amongst the top .0001%?

A: There certainly is. Inherited wealth aside, the Filthy Rich are an insanely ambitious and competitive breed. Which, of course, is part of why they’re filthy rich. At the end of the day, though, they’re really just as petty and eager to impress their peers as the average homo sapien. They just have higher credit card bills.

Q: Why do you think the public is so fascinated by the Filthy Rich?

A: I think it stems from the perception, no matter how many times we’re told otherwise, that money is the ultimate salve. We imagine that, if only we had his money or her money, everything in our lives would be okay. But, as the famed poet Christopher Wallace wrote—and as I think the book suggests quite clearly— “Mo’ money” often means “mo’ problems.” Or, as Dorothy Parker snipped, “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” It’s words like those that keep me from pursuing my billion-dollar blog idea (Hint: NSFW.)

Q: Having written The Official Filthy Rich Handbook and chronicled the quirks of this exclusive class, what are the first three things you would do if you were to find yourself with a few billion dollars?

A: As a closet nerd, the idea of owning a submarine, like Paul Allen and Roman Abramovitch, certainly holds appeal. A tricked out South American compound and a Boeing 767 could also prove useful for getting the gang together on weekends. After I built some orphanages in Slovenia, of course.